I have been through a bit of a rough patch the last couple weeks and I thank you for all the support and emails I’ve been getting. Besides the emotional whirlwind I’ve been in from my incident, I’ve also had what my doctor thinks is tendonitis in my left wrist. I haven’t done my usual power yoga in almost a whole week and I feel like I’m going insane. I went two months with hurt wrists and it’s gotten to the point where I cannot practice. I have to stop and realize that maybe my body needed a bit of rest.
Sometimes I feel like I create an addiction to things.
Since I left the “club-scene” a couple years ago I feel like I dove head first into fitness…..I mean I had to do SOMETHING with my addictive habits that had nothing to do with going out anymore! I used to work out but eat like crap, drink like a fish, and eat .99-cent tacos from Jack-in-the-box like there was no tomorrow! Then I completely gave up drinking in October 2011. Since then I went through some challenges of getting back into shape and trying to eat healthy even though I didn’t try very hard. I decided to start this blog to help focus my energy on being a healthier person all around. Once 2013 hit, a lot of changes happened. I got extremely involved in yoga, went to yoga training, and started running again. I started actually cooking meals and slowly tiptoeing into a more plant-based lifestyle. Keep in mind I’m tiptoeing. I need a slow transition. I look back and realize how completely obsessed I am with fitness.
I have grown to become addicted…coming from a person who was/is addicted to alcohol. Sometimes when I’m running, I find myself running so fast as though I am running away from my past (or present), sometimes I find myself in multiple yoga classes per day to help me stay present and block out the bad thoughts that creep into my head…and SOMETIMES I get tendonitis in my left wrist that prevents me from doing yoga and drives me insane!
So I run more.
I run and have to stay positive even though yoga is the only thing helping my little heart stay positive. I realize that I throw all of my energy into physical exertion and feel incomplete when I miss a workout. I think God is telling me to slow down a little and try to have faith that everything will be okay. I don’t have to beat myself up when I miss a workout because it may cause injury. I don’t have to be hard on myself emotionally or physically…and everything needs rest.
I’m practicing faith right now. Faith that life will turn around and be something amazing someday. It already is…I know that life is perfect and that we continue to make life complicating. I am choosing to move forward and embrace what I have, because that’s all we can do. Everything in life is impermanent and the only permanence is change…so we must embrace change and have faith that the path we are on will always lead us to where we are supposed to go. In the meanwhile I will continue my healthy lifestyle, and I will continue to keep trekkin.