I have been dormant lately. As you know, I’m going through some legal battles and it’s difficult for me to remain active on here when I am trying to improve myself and my state of mind. I started this blog off with fitness tips and diet trials and new places I’ve discovered and shared. Where am I now? Who am I now?
I am a yoga lover, 3 months sober, on 5 months with no meat (besides fish), running junkie with a knack for full-blown self-discovery.This is who I am. RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
I have been treading through a sober life with my eyes wide open….(ok sometimes closed. Sometimes I prefer sleeping over feelings I’m not used to feeling) But I am here and I am trying. These last 3 months I have discovered that I live in fear. I live in fear of failing, fear of success, fear of the legal system, fear of showing my true emotions, fear of loving fully, fear of commitment, and fear of letting myself and others down.
Soooooo much fear ick its sick. But the first step is awareness right? I am trying to compile a 30-day challenge to help me really grow. This challenge will start on November 1st and be dedicated to conquering some of my fears. I want to do something every single day of November that scares me, challenges me, or gets me just at least out of my comfort zone. On days I cant fit in anything crazy, I will just do my best to try a new yoga studio or run farther then I ever have before. Sometimes we remain so scared of change that we remain a victim to our past and a victim to the sameness of our life. Over everything I want to overcome my fear of teaching yoga. I want to teach, but since my legal situation, I find myself thinking I’m not good enough. I make excuses that I need more training, or I’m not ready, or I need to get through my struggles before I can even teach another. I also have had some random poor body image issues pop up throughout all this recovery. I know that everything is temporary but I like to really talk about my issues when they rise. No one is perfect and I believe it’s good to show real struggle, as many others can relate.
Today I am surrendering to FEAR. It’s pointless. I was reading The Power of Now from Eckhart Tolle the other night and it helped me smooth over my fears. This book is a must read if you haven’t already, it’s my Go-To. Here are a few quotes I have highlighted in his book that I thought id share with everyone:
“Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life”(pg. 62)
“Your life situation may be full of problems-most life situations are-but find out if you have any problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now. Do you have a problem now?
When you are full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution. So whenever you can, make some room, create some space, so that you find the life underneath your life situation”(pg. 63)
Isn’t that beautiful?
I am in love with those quotes, it reminds me of Baron Baptiste Level 1 this summer. I am creating SPACE for something new. I have been closed for too long but I must continue to grow…through my life situation;)
So here we are, and here’s the challenge.
Starting November 1st I will write every single day on this blog so get ready. I will also be updating my Instagram with my many found fear-facing adventures so stay tuned to both or feel free to join in with me because that would be fantastic support and we can help better each other.
This is a challenge to EMBRACE YES! So if you do this with me just #hashtag your Instagram photos with #embraceYES and I can follow you or get inspired together.
See you in November!